Remarks of Jeannette's cousin, Jeanne Bustard

I am Jeanne Bustard, one of Jeannette’s cousins. She and my mother were first cousins. I didn’t really know her when I was young, but I did know how much my family admired her. Probably everyone here is aware of Jeannette’s accomplishments: as an editor, a political and social activist, and as a leader of the Unitarian church.

But I’ve been thinking of her recently, as someone who had a deep and abiding interest in people. Now, Jeannette’s love of people was not what I would think of as gentle and nurturing. Jeannette challenged those she loved. Anyone who knew her knew she was a woman of strong opinions, who saw issues in black and white with few grays.  Now I’m a person who sees a lot of gray areas in most issues.  In a typical exchange with Jeannette, she would ask me about my views on something. Usually, she seemed to see it as a simple question to be answered in a word or two.   “What grade would you give Obama’s presidency?” or “Do you see yourself as a real Liberal or (a mere) Moderate?”  My mind, however, was saying, “Well, on the one hand…but on the other hand…” And while I was beginning to formulate my complicated response, Jeannette would usually go on to something else entirely different, leaving me frustrated at not getting to give my answer. 

Jeannette had long, lasting friendships with people from all aspects of her life, and she made new friends constantly, even in recent years when she could barely get out at all.  I think one reason that she was such a fine editor, aside from her consummate skill and intelligence, was that she cared deeply about the authors with whom she worked.  She was interested in who they were, their interests, their experiences and their goals.  A few months ago, when my husband and I visited her, she was brimming with excitement about the current group of authors and the new topics that she was learning about as she worked with them.  People who knew her well felt her interest in them and her caring.

Jeannette loved her family.  Both her mother and sister, Sue, lived with her during their last years of life.  She adored each of her nieces and nephews.  I hope the five of you know how much you were loved and how much you meant to her.  I came to know Jeannette well because of the kindness and caring that she, Sue, and the whole Gray family showed my mother when she was dying of cancer.  I am forever grateful to all of them.

Jeannette had high standards for herself and for those she loved, and she challenged us all to live up to those standards.  While I didn’t always agree with her or with what she was quite sure was best for me, she made me think long and hard about my ideas and choices and she made me strive to be the best person I could be in my own light, even if not always in hers.  That was one of her gifts to me. She made me a better person, and her caring for me meant a lot. I loved her and will miss her presence in my life.